


Seven Years of Remus J. Lupin

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, Friendship, Romance, Time Turner, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2004-06-24
Packaged: 2018-05-18 21:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5943760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus spends seven years at Hogwarts, followed up by several post-Azkaban years with Sirius.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Year One: The Ears Have It Page One: Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Little Remus Jacob Lupin was a size too small for his robes and a size too large for his hat. The toes of his sneakers were just barely visible from beneath the folds of black cloth, while the tips of his ears were pointing noticeably out from under the brim of his hat. They were oddly shaped ears, slightly longer than normal, with a bit of a point at the end, and they tended to turn a brilliant red when the boy was embarrassed. And right now, his ears were roughly the color of a cooked lobster. His book had been plucked unceremoniously out of his hands and was now being thoroughly made fun of by a Mr. James Harold Potter and his friend, Mr. Sirius Orion Black. Of course, Sirius had nothing to laugh about, considering the state of his initials, but Remus still didn't feel comfortable having his cherished book poked at by such a pair of mischief makers as these two obviously were. It didn't help that the book was a Muggle romance novel. The other boys had already crowed delightedly over the fact, but instead of continuing on with just Remus' book (and soft spot for romance), they had settled themselves into the roles of classic hero and damsel in distress and were clowning around the small car, arms waving everywhere. Remus could tell that they were not intending to be cruel- they just wanted to have a bit of fun. And yet, he was a little nervous and still quite red. He sat quietly on the edge of the seat, his toes brushing the floor, eyes wide, ears back, like a puppy. The tears that had been welling behind his eyes when he first boarded the train were now gone, replaced with a vague excitement and a great deal of apprehension. They were a nice hazel color now, just soon enough after the full moon that their natural green had been at least partially restored. For, you see, Remus J. Lupin was a werewolf. Bitten at the age of seven, Remus had been struggling for the past four years to find his footing as a "normal" human being. His parents, not knowing what to do, had called several specialists and worked out a schedule for him to follow. More meat in his diet, a well padded cage for full moons, and blood transfusions were part of the plan. When he had gotten his Hogwarts acceptance letter, Mary and Blake Lupin had planned on politely refusing. However, Albus Dumbledore made a special house call to the Lupins and talked through a plan to deal with the lycanthropy before they had a chance to object. When they had finished, Remus was well on his way to Hogwarts. And now here he sat, across from a pair of dark haired pranksters and next to a blond boy who seemed to fade into the cushions. As previously stated, the boys across from him (who were by now nearly on top of each other) were Sirius Black and James Potter. The boy next to him had quietly said his name was Peter Emerson Pettigrew. Silently, Remus had assessed them. Sirius had shaggy black hair that seemed a bit too long for school standards, blue eyes and a mouth that never seemed to close. He was the most boisterous of the three, caterwauling a poorly rhymed love song to James while beating a small pillow of his to death. His eyes were constantly darting everywhere, often pausing to rest on Remus's red ears or hazel eyes, which he seemed to find interesting. The little werewolf crossed his toes in the hope that Sirius would never find out why he had such odd body parts. James also had black hair that was much shorter than Sirius's and seemed to stand on end, as if he had just experienced static electricity from a load of fresh laundry. His brown eyes were so dark as to be almost black, but glittered as brightly as Sirius's behind his round glasses. James seemed to be the most confident of the three, every movement he made was deliberate, and he could switch his playfulness off easily, which was something Sirius did not seem to be able to do. Peter was small with the baby plumpness of a child half his age and had a tidy, short haircut. He was about the same height as Remus, had a more charming smile than Sirius, and James's ability to turn off his emotions. He had told them quietly as they left Kings Cross that he was terribly sad, but prided himself in never having cried in all his eleven years. He tended, however, to fade into the background quite well, dark blue eyes turned down and small hands folded neatly in his lap. Already, though James and Sirius were embarrassing him, Remus found he was enjoying the company. Peter, as well, was rather an enjoyable companion, and was currently studying his Transfiguration textbook. He seemed like the studious type, and Remus had seen several classic books peeking out of his bookbag. 

"Say, Lupin," called Sirius from his upside down position on the opposite seat "d'you happen to have James repellent in your bag? I'm in desperate need of some." 

Indeed, he looked as if he needed some... and NOW. James had taken off his robes and was attempting to choke his best friend with them, yelling something about how maidens were idiots, and boy-maidens were worse. 

"I will NOT go picking flowers with you, having tea with you, OR buying dresses with you, Sirius Orion!" he growled, shaking the robe and making Sirius' dark head bob in protest. 

"I'll go," offered Peter, smiling winningly. He really had a lovely smile, the kind that could charm thorns off a rose. 

"Thank you! At least someone appreciates the finer points of female nature," sniffed Sirius, kicking James unceremoniously in the stomach. Unfortunately for the poor "maiden," James let go of his hold on the robes, and Sirius fell over backwards, tumbling head over heels and finally ending up in a sprawling heap on the compartment floor. Remus started forward, but Sirius laughed and stood up, stretching his boyish frame until it seemed to fill the area. 

"Free!" he crowed, and then darted out of the door, as James took off after him, shouting murderously. However, both boys' flight was impeded almost at once by a pair of burly boys, who looked meaner than eleven year olds should. Sirius stopped dead in his tracks and Remus (who was peering out the compartment door) was amused to see James run stright into his back. After that came a short scuffle between the two sets of boys, and the smaller pair ran back into the compartment, slamming the door behind them. Sirius was panting. "If they ask, I'm not here!" he said in a loud whisper, and pretended to hide underneath the seat. Remus couldn't help it. He burst out laughing, hands clutching his knees for support. This seemed to delight Sirius and James, who both broke out into wide smiles and laughed along with their new companion. Peter, too, let loose one of his award winning grins, and they all shared a moment of completed hapiness. 

"A happy ring," as James later referred to it. A happy ring... where the only thing you are concerned with is whether or not your mouth will stick permanently in a smile.

Half an hour later, none of the boys were smiling. The first years were all crowded into an anti-chamber just outside the Great Hall of Hogwarts. One person had fallen in the lake and smelled like a human fish to Remus. He and his new friends all were standing near the door leading out, each with their eyes nervously watching the other students and then flicking back to the door, waiting for the return of the professor who was to lead them in. Peter looked positively ill. 

"I'm going to be in Slytherin... I know it... I just know it!" he squeaked, eyes wide with terror. "They'll eat me alive in Slytherin! I'll be fried Peter on toast!" 

Remus smiled shyly at him. 

"Maybe you'll be in Hufflepuff. I heard they're really nice there." 

"Really nice, and really dumb!" said Sirius, a little too loudly. He looked as though he was about to faint. Fortunately, none of the to-be-Hufflepuffs, or anyone outside of their little group heard him. 

"I hope I don't get in that house." 

"Oh come on, Sirius. You know you're a Slytherin." James was attempting to hold his fear under. He smiled weakly. 

"Yeah," he said, a bit glumly. "And you're going to be a Gryffindor. That's for certain." 

Remus bit his lip. Split up a new friendship? That could Not be fun. One of the professors returned and herded them into an uneven line and began to march them down the length of the Great Hall. Overhead, the ceiling showed bright with stars, and closer to them, candles floated above the tables. Sirius had grabbed the back of Remus' robe and was trotting along behind him, the other hand holding tightly to Peter's sleeve. The head of the line stopped, and the tattered Sorting Hat on a stool began to sing. Remus, however, was not paying attention. Instead, his eyes were wandering over the magnificent ceiling, picking out constellations out of habit, and trying to feel at home. He knew what he was required to do, and therefore it didn't worry him that he was missing the first part of the ceremony. Then they began to call names. Remus's mouth went dry. 

"Abbot, Jean!" James nudged Peter and whispered something in his ear. Peter went red and nodded, then whispered something back. James grinned at him. 

"Black, Sirius!" Sirius gave Remus' robe a little tug and then flounced up to the stool. Sitting down, he looked up patiently at the professor who placed the Sorting Hat on his head. It became still and Sirius sat, looking up at the brim expectantly. Then suddenly the hat shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!" And Sirius went slack with released tension. Remus paid no attention to the next few names. Sirius was in Gryffindor? And he was waving at them from across the room. Well, at least he and James could be together. A little smile twitched at his lips. They could be happy. But he..? He would probably end up in Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw. The word had at first sounded fierce and sharp- like a brain on edge, brilliance in motion. But now it sounded lonely... so incredibly- 

"Lupin, Remus!" Trembling, he approached the front of the Hall. Settling down on the stool proved to be harder than he had thought it would be- due to the fact that it had only three legs and was extremely hard on the buttock region. Then the hat was placed gently on his head and a little voice wormed its way into his brain. 

"Ah... so you are the little one with the dark secrets..." Remus felt himself cringe. "Don't worry. I won't tell. Hm... the Slytherins are mighty protective of their own kind. You might be very well cared for there." His brain was rather numb. He had no idea what to think. "Well, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuffs are definitely not right. You have a douse of mischief in you... perhaps..." The voice stopped for a moment and then yelled "GRYFFINDOR!" so loudly that it made the poor young werewolf nearly fall off the stool in surprise. 

And then he was at the table, a faceless group of happy beings patting him on the back and cheering him on in his dazed state. Sirius was hugging him around his waist and someone had dropped a wreath of strange smelling flowers from the table around his neck. In less than five minutes, the names of Peter Pettigrew and James Potter were called, both of them joining the two radiant boys at the Gryffindor table. Altogether they had nine Gryffindor first years- five girls and four boys- a fact that made James wince and Peter blush. Someone across the table passed Remus a note that had someone else's name on it and told him to pass it along, which he did without a word. Sirius reached for the gravy and knocked over a bowl of vegetable soup. Peter was too busy reading to discover that he had dipped his bread in hot mustard until it was too late. But other than that, dinner was a rather uneventful meal. Delicious, but uneventful. One of the prefects, with an imperious tone, directed the youngsters along the confusingly twisted corridors towards their dorms. James caught ahold of Sirius' robe and whispered something in his ear. Remus was so nervous that his wand fell out of his sweaty grasp, and was picked up and returned by a sweet faced Gryffindor first year. 

"Dropped this?" she asked, her rosebud lips parting to reveal a line of pretty white teeth, one of which had fallen out. 

"Thanks," Remus replied, taking the wand back and sliding it into a pocket of his robe. 

"I'm Lily." 

"Remus." 

"Excited?" she asked, eyebrows raising into her mop of unruly red hair. It was cut a bit too short for her face, but would be obviously very pretty if let grow. 

"Nervous," he replied, smiling shyly. 

"Oi! Loopy! Stop flirting and come with your gang!" Sirius yelled cheerfully back at him, gesturing the shorter boy to join the rest of his little pack- pack... Remus cringed a little. They were his gang. His mob. His maffia. His friends. But not his pack. Never his pack. Obediently, he trotted up to them, nodding a short goodbye to Lily. Peter was chattering in the manner of frightened folk, his small ruddy hands gesturing wildly. 

"I didn't think I'd get into Gryffindor. I'm such a little frightened rat, I should be in Hufflepuff. Yes, I think they put me in the wrong house, but I'm not going to take it back," he giggled nervously. "Take it back, I can't take it back! Can't take anything back.... oh dear... do you think I'll fit in? We're the only boys in the first year? Just us... right? And all those girls. Do either of you have a schedule? I seem to have lost mine...." 

James clapped a hand over Peter's mouth and shoved a schedule into his hands. "I'll share with Sirius." 

"Like hell you will!" One of the paintings on the wall frowned. 

"Watch your language there, young chap. Uphold the Gryffindor face and all that..." 

Sirius stuck out his tongue at the painting and handed James his schedule. 

"You can keep mine. I'll just use Remus'." James made a dissatisfied noise, but Remus smiled and said softly, "Okay." 

His friends. 

~ + ~ 

"Ha ha... catch me!" Remus woke, sweating, still hearing the words whispered against his ear, the bite of the sharp teeth against his throat, the welling of blood that rushed to all points of his star-like body. The cold fingers on his shoulders, the greedy growls and the red blood that flowed down his neck into the vampire's waiting mouth... He sat, shivering, hands gripping his elbows. His eyes were shadowed by lashes, and his lips were pressed together in a thin, firm line. Sunlight was peaking through the window to his left, and James was already stirring into wakefulness. It would take at least another hour to get Sirius up, but Peter would come along shortly. But to his surprise, Sirius was not in his bed. Remus' forehead crinkled. They had been roommates for four weeks already, and he thought he had gotten used to his friends' habits. Suddenly, Sirius slammed the door open and yelled happily, 

"Double Charms with Hufflepuffs today!" 

He bustled around the room, throwing the clothes off each of the beds, singing a ridiculously obnoxious song. When he got to Remus' bed, he paused to lean over the smaller boy and croon, "And I'll wait for you... in the dumpster, my love! After you've thrown me out...." before prancing over to the window and throwing it open. 

"Get up, boys! Today is the day for...." He glanced over his shoulder at James. "My big plot!" Remus felt like throwing his covers over his head and hiding. The "big plot" had been brewing for about two weeks now, and Sirius got more and more excited with each coming morning. Though not quite sure of the details, he knew that it had something to do with a Hufflepuff named Carlos and the new professor's large bowl of lollies. James, on the other hand, had leapt out of bed and was frantically pulling his pants on. Peter had rolled off of his and was curled up with his arms around a pair of James' socks. He mumbled something in his sleep. Sirius pulled on James' hand and the two ran out the door, leaving their dormmates to get dressed on their own. Remus stretched a little and reached out for his shower bucket and clothes. He liked to clean up in the morning and at night, so that he had a fresh face for both times of the day. His roomies didn't share his sentiment for showers, but didn't mind him being absent for the showering. James and Sirius showered with him in the evening, while Peter was a morning washer. The boy slid across the floor in his stocking feet, the slick waxed wood making a good sliding area. Out the door and up a few stairs Remus alternately slid and trotted, reaching the bathroom in less than thirty seconds. It was already steamy, as someone from the upper classes had already used the facilities, while another was still using the third stall from the left. The showering person was singing loudly in a strong and rather beautiful voice. Remus smiled to himself. It had to be Arthur Weasley- the only seventh year who showered in the morning and sang with such an amazing voice. Quietly, Remus began to take off his clothes and fold them neatly. He picked up his shower bucket and entered the shower after hanging his towel on the door where he could easily reach it. Turning on the water, Remus tilted his head slightly so that the warm spray could reach down his neck and back. Aaahhh... showers in the morning.... he gave a small girlish squeal... absolutely perfect! To be equalled only, perhaps, by showers in the evening. It was at that moment that the water went freezingly cold. There was a burst of laughter and Remus saw red. He grabbed his clothes and yanked them on without waiting to dry off. He knew who was behind this. Lollies my tail. This is what they were planning all along, he thought with bemused anger. Storming out of the bathroom with a dripping wet robe and his fists clenched, Remus tripped right over James Potter, who was actually sitting on the floor and laughing. Sirius appeared from behind the door, laughing as well, nearly bent in two. Remus could barely keep hold of his mingled fury and amusement. 

"You... you planned this! You...." 

Sirius lay one hand on Remus' shoulder. 

"Of course we did! Was it refreshing?" He snorted through the word. 

"Refreshing?! REFRESHING?! It was...." Remus paused, noting the half guilty looks his friends were giving him. "It was perfect! A wonderful prank. Brilliant. But next time, play it on someone else, okay?" 

Now they really looked like they regretted it. Sirius was giving him "I'm sorry" glances from under his eyelashes. Remus gave a defeated sigh and smirked at them. "And let me join in." 

~~


	2. Page Two: Winter

\\\\\\\\\\\"From now on, you are going to help me with this.\\\\\\\\\\\" Madam Pomphrey bent over Remus\\\\\\\\\\\' arm, daubing at the angry scratches from the night before. It had been a particularly vicious full moon, and Remus\\\\\\\\\\\' body was covered in a webbing of red lines and welts. She gave him an inscrutable look, almost as if she was going to cry or yell or scream, but she did none of them- preferring to return to her work.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I can\\\\\\\\\\\'t do all this myself, you know,\\\\\\\\\\\" she said huskily, her dark brows drawing together as her fingers flew across his skin with the potion, disinfecting and healing swiftly. \\\\\\\\\\\"It\\\\\\\\\\\'s a lot of work. Every month for the rest of your-\\\\\\\\\\\" she broke off and stood, her face turned away. \\\\\\\\\\\"I need more...\\\\\\\\\\\" and she left the room hurriedly.   
Remus sighed, his body relaxing into the clean white pillows in exhaustion. Indeed it had been a difficult night in more ways than one. He had nearly exhausted his usual excuses for his friends, but had managed to get away with telling them his mother had died. This made Sirius stop in his pestering to look at him sadly, and James actually offered to go home with him while Peter had said he would get the next day\\\\\\\\\\\'s assignment ready. Now he would have to be careful not to mention anything about his mother, and to look decently depressed. It wasn\\\\\\\\\\\'t going to be hard to assume a silent, sad expression. He was like that after each moon. Suddenly, just outside of his alcove, he heard voices. Straining his sensitive ears, he could hear them quite clearly.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I can\\\\\\\\\\\'t do this, Albus. I just can\\\\\\\\\\\'t do this.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Poppy....\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"He hurts! I see it... he hurts even when he is well enough. Between the moons, he is in pain, and now-\\\\\\\\\\\" a sob \\\\\\\\\\\"it\\\\\\\\\\\'s unbearable!\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"He needs you. He needs you to be the strong, reliable nurse.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I can\\\\\\\\\\\'t....\\\\\\\\\\\" Almost whispered.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"You must. There is no one else to do it for him. And he is too weak to do it himself.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"But the pain...\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I know, Poppy, my dear. And you are helping to heal that pain. You are a constant for him. You and those three boys of his.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"It hurts me to see him like that.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I know.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"He...\\\\\\\\\\\" another little sob \\\\\\\\\\\"he needs me.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Yes.\\\\\\\\\\\" A sigh. \\\\\\\\\\\"Yes.\\\\\\\\\\\" A pause and then, \\\\\\\\\\\"Albus, he isn\\\\\\\\\\\'t allergic to chocolate is he? I can give it to him?\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"No and yes.\\\\\\\\\\\" A chuckle. \\\\\\\\\\\"Even if it\\\\\\\\\\\'s not for medical purposes, go ahead.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"All right.\\\\\\\\\\\" There was the sound of clicking heels and Remus shut his eyes, trying to look as though he were asleep. It seemed to work, as Madam Pomphrey did not try to talk to him, but muttered several spells that buzzed over his body before leaving. Remus gave a little contented sigh at the warm, secure feelings. Vaguely, he knew he should not be so happy, but one of the whispered spells had relaxed him utterly. Giving a delicate yawn, Remus settled down under the covers to sleep. He was just beginning to doze off, when a thought struck him in a bittersweet manner. Madam Pomphrey cared about him enough to feel pain when he was hurt. It was nice... rather like a caring aunt. And it was at that point that he fell asleep. In his dreams, Sirius was dancing down a wet sidewalk with him in the rain of a midsummer\\\\\\\\\\\'s day. They were talking about how Quidditch sounded like cabbage and if Quaffles ought to be made of cabbages. There was no rhythm or metre to their dances, just a simple summer elegance that filled their boy-limbs as the smell of the hot, wet pavement filled their noses. Peter was somewhere near, Remus thought in the bushes, and James was supposedly off in Uganda. Then suddenly, Remus\\\\\\\\\\\' mother came riding in on a great red motorcycle and told him to get on. He obeyed and she flew off with him just as he woke up.   
The evening was already upon the castle when Remus woke up. The sunset was streaming through the windows, lighting up the hospital room in an array of reds and golds. For a moment, the honey-haired boy lay back on his pillows, letting the warmth run down his body, filling him with a sort of lazy strength like a great tree in the forest. Then he opened his eyes fully, gave a huge sigh, and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. His bare feet dangled above the cold stone floor as he reached for his robes and began to dress himself. Remus didn\\\\\\\\\\\'t go back to the dorm. Instead, he made his way out onto the grounds, trudging through the glittering calf-deep snow towards the lake. It was frozen over, but out in the middle, a dark patch of water showed where the giant squid had broke the surface three days earlier. The moon showed nearly full and pale in the sky- like a ghost high above. Behind him, the light of the setting sun caught the tips of the trees in a wildfire embrace as the night drew nearer. They seemed to Remus like they were reaching towards the sun, grabbing for the warmth it gave. He sighed and his breath mushroomed out into the air, then was ripped apart by the breeze. Closing his eyes, Remus breathed deeply before turning to head back to the dorms. When he reached the painting, he smiled at the Fat Lady. She smiled back.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Hello, Remus. Password?\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Marbles.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
The painting swung forward to allow him access to the Gryffindor common room. As he entered, the first thing he noticed was that it was rather crowded. The next thing he saw was that everyone was dressed in black. And then, his eyes fell on the banner. A long white sheet hung across the center of the common room with the words   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Our Sympathy, Remus Lupin\\\\\\\\\\\" painted on it in dark red. Everyone seemed to have a concerned look on their face, and there was a small pile of silver-wrapped gifts by the fireplace. One of the Quidditch team members stepped forward and put his hand on Remus\\\\\\\\\\\' arm.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I\\\\\\\\\\\'m so sorry about your mother.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
And, like it was a charm, everyone soon followed- gathering around him in a little circle of hugging, sympathetic friendliness. Remus wasn\\\\\\\\\\\'t sure whether he should burst into laughter or tears. Then suddenly, Sirius was at his elbow.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Hey, hey, give the boy some room to breathe,\\\\\\\\\\\" he said, pushing at some of the bodies. He turned to the smaller boy.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"You all right? Want to sit down for a minute?\\\\\\\\\\\"   
He moved to a chair in front of the pile of gifts. \\\\\\\\\\\"Here.\\\\\\\\\\\" Remus sat down, feeling dazed. Peter stepped forward, holding out a package.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"We all felt really bad for you, Rem.\\\\\\\\\\\" The blond bit his lip and shoved the package into Remus\\\\\\\\\\\' hands.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Here.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I... I...\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Go on, open it.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
James appeared from the left, holding a glass of water. He squatted next to Remus, eyes trained on the package.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I...\\\\\\\\\\\" Remus shot James a terrified glance before standing. \\\\\\\\\\\"I can\\\\\\\\\\\'t!\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"What d\\\\\\\\\\\'you mean you can\\\\\\\\\\\'t?\\\\\\\\\\\"   
One of the third year girls asked. \\\\\\\\\\\"Are you all right? Do you need a tissue? You going to cry?\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I can\\\\\\\\\\\'t accept these!\\\\\\\\\\\" cried Remus, panicked. \\\\\\\\\\\"Take them back!\\\\\\\\\\\" he squealed, tripping over Peter and making a mad dash to escape up to the dorms. Sirius caught his arm to stay him, but the other boy gave him a wild look, ripping his arm out of Sirius\\\\\\\\\\\' grip. He went careening up the steps, slipped once, caught himself, and flung his body heavily onto his bed, drawing the curtains and panting. Oh bloody hell. Of all things to happen, this was the worst! He\\\\\\\\\\\'d thought all he would come back to see was pitiful looks. But no- with someone like James, you couldn\\\\\\\\\\\'t escape the enormous sentiment, while Sirius provided the flashy party-style atmosphere. Remus buried his face in his pillow, trying to steady his breath. How, in Merlin\\\\\\\\\\\'s name, was he to get out of this one? Tears sprung to his eyes unbidden, and he rubbed his face against the soft pillowcase. The door opened and three sets of footsteps came in.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Remus?\\\\\\\\\\\" That was Peter\\\\\\\\\\\'s timid voice.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Shh, leave him alone. He\\\\\\\\\\\'s probably hurting.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
Sirius. At least that was true.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Maybe we should have waited to do the party.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
James sounded worried. \\\\\\\\\\\"I don\\\\\\\\\\\'t think so.\\\\\\\\\\\" Equally worried Sirius.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I think he should sleep it off.\\\\\\\\\\\" Peter.   
Someone moved closer to Remus\\\\\\\\\\\' bed.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Goodnight, Remus. I\\\\\\\\\\\'m sorry if that was uncomfortable.\\\\\\\\\\\" James sounded melancholy.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Night, Rem. Sleep well.\\\\\\\\\\\" Peter\\\\\\\\\\\'s hand brushed the curtain, and Remus could see it billowing out inside.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Sorry, Remus. Don\\\\\\\\\\\'t hate us. If you need anything, wake me up.\\\\\\\\\\\" That was Sirius. The little werewolf sighed and curled into a fetal position, his blanket clutched in his fingers. He wasn\\\\\\\\\\\'t going to be able to get out of this one as easily as he had thought. Not to mention that some of his healing scratches itched like hell. Why, oh why had he told them his mother had died? Couldn\\\\\\\\\\\'t it have been something a bit less... dramatic? He gave another sigh. And, knowing his friends, they weren\\\\\\\\\\\'t about to stop trying to cheer him up.

Five days before Christmas, the list of who was staying at school was passed around. Remus held it in his hands, not sure whether or not he wanted to stay. It would be nice to go home to be with his parents, but the other three boys were staying. James had said something about his parents being on vacation, while Peter was staying because he wanted help in Flying from James. Sirius was staying because he said they served better food at Hogwarts than home, though he also hinted that he wanted to play some kind of prank on Marion Higgs. Marion Higgs was a third year Ravenclaw who was highly despised by the underclassmen, as he had a tendency to throw his intelligence in their faces. Remus had never had a problem with him (or any other student for that matter), but was willing to assist in any pranks just because he didn\\\\\\\\\\\'t want to be left out. Peter, too, didn\\\\\\\\\\\'t like being alone, and often tagged along to be lookout on any jokes that were played. Remus bit his lip. It would take some apologizing to his parents, but he really wanted to spend this time getting to know his friends better. And the thought of them having fun without him made him slightly jealous.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"So, you going to stay or not?\\\\\\\\\\\" James asked from behind him. Remus jumped and then smiled.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Yeah, I\\\\\\\\\\\'m going to stay.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
James lifted one of his eyebrows and his glasses scootched down his nose a bit.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"You aren\\\\\\\\\\\'t going to be with your dad? After what happened?\\\\\\\\\\\"   
A flash of guilt ran through the little werewolf\\\\\\\\\\\'s heart. Oops. He had forgotten about his supposedly dead mother.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"N-no. He\\\\\\\\\\\'s... ah... visiting his parents,\\\\\\\\\\\" he lied awkwardly.   
James frowned a bit.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Look, Remus, I understand if you don\\\\\\\\\\\'t want to tell me what\\\\\\\\\\\'s going on, but don\\\\\\\\\\\'t lie to me. You\\\\\\\\\\\'re terrible at it.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
He sniffed pompously and shoved his glasses back up.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"I don\\\\\\\\\\\'t need you to lie to me. Just tell me you don\\\\\\\\\\\'t want me to know.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
He smiled a bit and patted Remus on the shoulder.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"If you want to stay with us... well, we\\\\\\\\\\\'d all be delighted.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Delighted?\\\\\\\\\\\" Remus gave a tiny laugh. \\\\\\\\\\\"Yes. Delighted.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
James put an arm around Remus\\\\\\\\\\\' shoulders as the shorter boy signed the sheet. Remus felt a warm feeling rush through him. Delighted. They were delighted. James with his confident stride, Sirius with his playful laugh, and Peter with his gentle nervousness. They were his. His.

Five days later, Remus woke to \\\\\\\\\\\"gentle Peter\\\\\\\\\\\" jumping up and down on his bed in excitement.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Wake up! Wake up! The presents are here!!!\\\\\\\\\\\"   
The blond noticed his eyes had opened, laughed himself silly, fell off the bed, and moved on to Sirius\\\\\\\\\\\'.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Wake up! Wake up!\\\\\\\\\\\"   
James was already blinking sleepily at Remus.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Hyperactive little guy, isn\\\\\\\\\\\'t he?\\\\\\\\\\\"   
He slid off his bed and onto the floor, leaning his head against the frame.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Peter, why couldn\\\\\\\\\\\'t you wake us up at a decent hour?\\\\\\\\\\\"   
Despite his moaning, James reached out and grabbed the nearest gift, ripping off the green paper to reveal a pair of Quidditch gloves. He raised his eyebrows and read the note out loud.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Dear James, I know you can\\\\\\\\\\\'t play on the Gryffindor team as a first year, but these might help in practice games. Love, Mum.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
He looked suitably impressed and moved on to the next gift. Peter had given up pestering Sirius and was now sitting on his bed, surrounded by his throng of gifts- most of them color coded to Gryffindor. He had some fudge in one hand, and was trying to eat it and unwrap his packages at the same time. Remus sat watching as his friends opened their gifts, fascinated by their antics. Then, suddenly, he remembered his own. Glancing at the foot of his bed, he nearly groaned out loud. Alongside the usual purple-wrapped packages from his parents, there was the same pile of gifts that had awaited him after the supposed death of his mother. Apparently, all the students felt that they should still give them to him, but had waited until a holiday to do so. He began opening them carefully. Chocolate Frogs. A pair of black snowboots. A self-stirring cocoa mug. A miniature dragon. More Chocolate Frogs. Jelly Slugs. A huge box of strawberry and apple lollies. A book on color charmwork. More lollies, some fudge, and a scarf. A teddy bear (A teddy bear?). A glow-lantern. A pair of ever-dry socks. A velvet wand bag. The list went on for ages. Remus sat, dizzy with delight, in the pile of his unwrapped gifts, unconsciously clutching the white teddy to his chest. Across the room, Sirius suddenly sat up.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Hey, you guys, look at this!\\\\\\\\\\\" He held up a flat silvery thing that looked like a mirror. The other boys gathered around him.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"This has a charm on it so that you can watch whoever you want for exactly thirty-two hours!\\\\\\\\\\\"   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Guaranteed,\\\\\\\\\\\" added James, who had purchased the object for him.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"It\\\\\\\\\\\'s not exactly a crystal ball, but it should work.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
Sirius grinned. \\\\\\\\\\\"So who wants to watch Marion Higgs open his gift from us?\\\\\\\\\\\" James grinned back.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"That\\\\\\\\\\\'s why I got it for you!\\\\\\\\\\\" He leaned over.   
\\\\\\\\\\\"Here, just tap your wand on it and say his name.\\\\\\\\\\\"   
Sirius did so, and a watery version of Marion Higgs swam into view. Unfortunately for the eagerly waiting boys, he was still asleep. But the four were not going anywhere, so they waited around- munching on candy and laughing about what would happen. In fifteen minutes, the red haired boy slid out of bed and, chatting with his roommates, began to unwrap his gifts. He had gotten through six before he happened upon theirs. Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter all leaned closer for a better look. The Ravenclaw unwrapped his gift and pulled out a flat stone tablet. He held it up, squinted at it, and read the writing on it out loud. Well, supposedly out loud, because in the Gryffindor room, none of the boys could hear what he said. But they could tell what was going on. One minute, he was reading off the tablet, and the next, his face had turned into that of a large green frog. Sirius could not stop laughing. Remus smiled. This was shaping up to be a great Christmas.

~~~~


	3. Page Three: Spring

Remus\\\'s head was almost dwarfed by the Herbology book he was studying. He had found a secluded area in the library (which was rather rare in the days of final exams) and had a pile of books next to him on the floor. Lily Evans and her friends from Ravenclaw had all come over earlier, to see if he wanted to study with them, but he had politely refused. Lily with her Gryffindor friends was all right, but the girls from Ravenclaw got on his nerves. He supposed it was because they always seemed a bit cliquish. Then again, he had nothing to complain about- as the Gryffindor first year boys were rather exclusive.

A Yurble flower is only red when warm-blooded creatures are within a five-foot radius. Otherwise, they remain a pale blue color. They are not poisonous if consumed, but have been known to cause prolonged slumber.

The werewolf sighed and set the book down, reaching up to rub his eyes with the backs of both hands. He had been studying since Potions let out, and felt no smarter than when he had started. It didn\\\'t matter to him that he currently had some of the best scores in the first year section, he had to pass the finals to feel good about himself. And not just pass them- pass with flying colors. He would have to be on his guard during the Potions and Defence classes, as the teachers of those classes were particularly difficult. But now... Herbology. Picking up the book again, Remus scanned the pages.

The Yurble\\\'s natural defenses lie in its thorns, which are incredibly small and dense- tending to cluster under each leaf.

\\\"Hiya, Remmie.\\\" A head of dark hair popped around the corner of one of the bookshelves. \\\"Studying?\\\" Sirius made a face and pranced over. There was really no other word for the movements he made. Hips jogging from side to side, hands held prissily at his sides. If Remus hadn\\\'t been annoyed, he might have laughed.

\\\"Yes, be quiet.\\\" Remus put his fingers to his lips. Sirius and study did not mix well.

\\\"Sorry,\\\" whispered Sirius, who plunked down next to his dormmate. \\\"Can I sit here?\\\" he asked after a moment, turning his brilliant blue eyes up at his friend. Remus had thought more than once that you could build a sky out of those eyes.

\\\"Yes,\\\" replied the light haired boy. It would be stupid to say \\\"no\\\" now.

\\\"Can I study with you?\\\"

\\\"No.\\\"

\\\"Why not?\\\" Sirius frowned.

\\\"Because you\\\'re always getting distracted, that\\\'s why.\\\" Remus half-closed his book and gave his best friend an arched glare.

\\\"I won\\\'t, this time. I promise. Besides, I need some help in Charms, and you\\\'re so awfully good at that.\\\" Puppy eyes.

A sigh. \\\"All right, but the moment you begin to get distracted, you\\\'re leaving.\\\"

\\\"Okay.\\\" Sirius grinned widely.

\\\"Charms first. Since you are having problems in it.\\\"

Sirius nodded and glanced down at the stack of books. \\\"Want the Charms book?\\\" he asked, eyebrows flicking upwards slightly. At Remus\\\' nod, he handed the wide, flat book up to him, and took the Herbology book- setting it on top of the pile. Settling against the chair, his back to his friend, Sirius gave a small, contented sounding sigh. \\\"Quiz me.\\\"

\\\"On what?\\\"

\\\"Anything. Just do it.\\\"

\\\"What is the correct Charm to levitate?\\\"

\\\"Wingardium Leviosa, dumbass.\\\"

Remus glared at his companion. \\\"I don\\\'t think dumbass is part of the spell.\\\"

\\\"That\\\'s preschool stuff,\\\" Sirius said imperiously, waving his hand. \\\"Get on with the harder ones.\\\"

The light haired boy flipped a few pages until he came across a charm that he knew Sirius would have a problem with. Smiling secretly, he coughed and demanded, \\\"Demonstrate the Incendio charm and then put it out.\\\" When Sirius turned around, looking upset, Remus smirked at him.

\\\"I can\\\'t do that!\\\"

\\\"Of course you can.\\\"

\\\"This is a library! You can\\\'t just set fire to the books or anything!\\\"

Remus rummaged in his pocked and pulled out a handkerchief. \\\"Here.\\\"

\\\"What?\\\" sqawked Sirius, backing away. \\\"You can\\\'t.... not here... in your hand?\\\"

\\\"In my hand.\\\"

\\\"But it\\\'ll burn you!\\\"

Remus shook his head. \\\"Not if you do as poorly as you usually do.\\\" Remus grinned. That was something Sirius wouldn\\\'t be able to back down from. \\\"Go on. Do it.\\\"

\\\"I... I...\\\"

\\\"DO IT!\\\"

Sirius closed his eyes, pointed his wand in the general direction of the hankie and shouted, \\\"INCENDIO!\\\" Unfortunately for him, the handkerchief remained untouched. However, his shout had drawn the sharp notice of the librarian, Madam Pince. But worse than that, Remus\\\' entire head burst into flame. The poor boy gave a yelp like a wounded dog and ran for the door, intending on dashing headlong into the lake. The only thing as painful as waking up after the werewolf transformation was having your head set on fire, and Remus learned that lesson rather quickly. Fortunately for him, Madam Pince caught him by the arm.

\\\"Finate Incantem!\\\" she shouted, and the fire disappeared, leaving Remus with a charred mass of ash on his head. \\\"What did you think you were doing?\\\" she snapped, her eyes fairly glowing with rage.

\\\"Pince... my fault!\\\" shouted Sirius, running over, his face white as a sheet. \\\"I... I did it.\\\"

\\\"You-\\\" she pointed at the dark haired Gryffindor \\\"will be spending detention with Professor Hogg, helping to muck out the hippogriff paddock. For a week!\\\" Her mouth was drawn into a slim red line. \\\"And then you will report IMMEDIATELY to the infirmary, where you will wait until your friend\\\'s hair grows back!\\\" Turning towards Remus, her face grew slightly less stern. \\\"See that you and your friend have no reason to be in the library for the rest of the term. And I\\\'ll have your books back up in your room. Poppy should be able to take care of your hair.\\\" So saying, she strode off, still slightly bristling.

~

Remus sat in the infirmary, positively glowering at Sirius. \\\"Thanks a lot,\\\" he growled softly. \\\"Now I have to sit here and wait for Pomphrey to mix the hair growing potion when I could be studying.\\\" He crossed his arms over his chest. \\\"This is just my luck, isn\\\'t it. First I try to study quietly, but nooooo... you have to come and make me study with you. Then, do you do your spells right? Oh no, of course not. You set my hair on fire!\\\"

\\\"Aw, Remmie, I said I was sorry!\\\" Sirius looked rather pitiful, sitting on the bed opposite his friend.

\\\"You never think, do you?\\\"

\\\"No,\\\" was the meek reply. \\\"Sorry.\\\"

Madam Pomphrey strode back into the room, her eyebrows half-knit in a severe expression. Without a word, she handed Remus a goblet of something green and turned on Sirius. \\\"I hope you are being punished for this,\\\" she snapped, bending slightly towards him. \\\"Because if you aren\\\'t, I will give you the worst month of detention you have ever known!\\\"

\\\"I am!\\\" squeaked Sirius, looking cowed. \\\"I\\\'m supposed to be cleaning out the hippogriff paddock for a week.\\\"

\\\"Pittance,\\\" snorted the nurse. \\\"You just watch your wand hand, Mr. Black. I won\\\'t have you hurting Mr. Lupin again.\\\" Her frown deepened. \\\"It will be your head if you do.\\\"

Sirius nodded.

Remus smiled as he felt a tingling sensation race around the crown of his head, and his hair began to grow back. It took less than thirty seconds, and when it was finished, he stood up. \\\"Thank you, Madam Pomphrey.\\\"

She gave him a small, affectionate smile. \\\"Get on with you.\\\"

Remus nodded and gestured for Sirius to follow him. The two exited out the door, Sirius glancing over his shoulder- seemingly half frightened that the good nurse would send a curse after him. The little werewolf smiled inwardly. He was really rather funny, even when he wasn\\\'t trying to be. Sirius Orion. If he could only buckle down on his schoolwork, he would be an excellent wizard. And if he wasn\\\'t so damned careless.

\\\"Remus?\\\"

\\\"Yes?\\\"

\\\"Sorry about that.\\\"

\\\"I know you are.\\\"

\\\"Will you.... are we still friends?\\\"

Remus actually laughed out loud. \\\"Yes, we\\\'re still friends.\\\" He shook his head, running fingers through his new-grown hair. \\\"If I stopped being your friend because of accidental cursing, we would never have survived the winter quarter.\\\" His face turned halfway towards the dark haired boy. \\\"You unthinking little git...\\\" he sighed, still smiling. \\\"Next time, I\\\'ll not ask you to perform spells involving fire.\\\"

Sirius chuckled. \\\"I really am sorry about that.\\\" He reached up and touched the other boy\\\'s hair. \\\"At least Pomphrey was able to fix your hair.\\\"

\\\"Yeah.\\\" The other boy smiled again, turning his eyes up towards the arching stone ceiling. \\\"And now you know how to do the Incendio spell.\\\"

\\\"Hah!\\\"

~

None of the exams turned out to be too difficult for Remus. Of course, the Potions exam hung on a thread for several minutes, but he managed to pull through with his partner\\\'s help. Strangely enough, Sirius had pulled off top grades in each of his classes- not top of the class, but certainly in the top 20%. James had done extremely well, and Peter had passed with good marks. All in all, the four friends came striding out in the early June sunshine with huge smiles on their faces. Sirius was already planning his vacation with James, while Peter was explaining his current reading project to Remus.

\\\"You see, it\\\'s not actually about the daughter. It\\\'s the mother that really matters. She\\\'s behind everything. If you read between the lines, you see that she\\\'s manipulating the entire family!\\\" He was waving his arms around in excitement, when suddenly James caught his arm.

\\\"Hey, you guys- Sirius and I think we should get together this summer. Maybe meet over at my place and spend a week making mischief in town or something.\\\"

Remus smiled and Peter jumped excitedly. \\\"Let\\\'s do it!\\\"

Sirius grinned at both of them and then took Remus\\\' elbow. \\\"Hey, Remus, you think you could send me some of those cookies you make? My parents aren\\\'t into sweets and don\\\'t think to make them.\\\" He looked pleadingly at the young werewolf. \\\"Pleeeeeease?\\\"

\\\"Of course.\\\" Remus tugged on a lock of Sirius\\\' hair. \\\"Just tell them to get you something.\\\"

\\\"Eh, it\\\'s not the same. Besides.....\\\" he grinned at the other boy \\\"I looooove your cookies.\\\" Mary Lupin had sent the boys a large package of them for Christmas, but Remus had claimed they were his own make- from when he had visited his father just before the winter break.

\\\"Yeah!\\\" Peter\\\'s face lit up. \\\"More cookies!\\\"

James licked his lips. \\\"You don\\\'t know how lucky you are to have a talent like that.\\\"

\\\"I\\\'ll make sure you get some.\\\" Remus\\\' face was aglow with delight. In a rush of happiness, he realized the truth. He loved these boys to the very core of his being. They were his friends, his roommates, and the source of his great joy. When they were near, the wolf seemed to be nothing but a distant shadow.

Sirius clapped a hand on Peter\\\'s back. \\\"Don\\\'t forget your homework.\\\"

\\\"Hey! I only did that once!\\\" squawked the blond boy. \\\"And that was because you and James distracted me with that stupid pufferfish.\\\"

The rest of the group laughed. That had indeed been an interesting sight. Peter, chasing a dead, floating pufferfish around the room, down the halls, and finally out on the lawn. Of course James and Sirius had been controlling it as it floated, laughing quietly as they followed their friend. Remus had watched from the window as Peter chased the bobbing white fish all the way down to the lake and back towards the castle. When he came back in the common room, James and Sirius had burst into loud laughter while Remus was nearly bent double trying to contain his. Peter had then begged in on their tricks, and had retaliated the very next week with a mysterious voice in James\\\' water goblet.

It hurt to be leaving them, but there was always next year- and they were going to get together this summer. Besides, Remus missed his parents, and was tired of pretending his mother was dead. As they all turned back towards the dorms, Remus gave a little sigh. If only that wolf hadn\\\'t bitten him, things would be even better. They would be able to know everything about him. He would keep no secrets from them.

He had it all planned out, you see.

If ever there was a cure for lycanthropy, Remus would first tell everyone that he was a normal human being. Then he would crawl into bed with Peter and tell him absolutely everything about himself. Then, he would move to James\\\' bed. Then Sirius\\\'. And then he would find Lily and all her Ravenclaw friends and tell them that he was a werewolf once, and they would laugh and say that it couldn\\\'t be so. And he wouldn\\\'t have to leave each full moon- he would run out underneath the sky and laugh and laugh and laugh....


	4. YEAR TWO: BABIES IN WOLVES' CLOTHING.

Page One: Fall (aka Why Remus Hates House Elves)

Of the four friends, Remus was the first to reach Kings' Cross Station on the first day of their second year at Hogwarts. His parents had an engagement with a decorator, and had left him at the entrance to Platform 9 and 3/4 with kisses and promises of letters. Remus was secretly relieved. He didn't want to have to explain why his mother was there at the station when she was- to the knowledge of all Gryffindor House- dead. Setting his trunk down, Remus sat on top of it, leaning his elbows on his knees, chin on his palms.

"Why if it isn't the little Gryffindor sprout." A loud voice sounded right behind his ear, and Remus half-turned, not wanting to confront anyone this early in the year. A pair of boys in Slytherin robes stood there, smirking at him. One of them he recognized immediately as Severus Snape, and the other... Remus bit his lip, unable to remember the boy's name.

"Hello, Snape," Remus said coolly, nodding to him and then the other boy.

"Lupin." Snape's eyes were dull.

"So you're the one they are always talking about," said the mystery Slytherin, his eyes dragging over Remus' slight frame as if he was dissecting him. "Is it true that you're the whore of Gryffindor?"

Remus drew in a sharp breath just as Snape hissed, "Lucius!"

"Leave me alone, Severus." Lucius waved his hand, complete with elegantly shaped nails. "I heard that one of you Gryffindor- well, you're second years now aren't you- got a bunch of money from the rest of the House last year." He had grey eyes that Remus decided were positively asking for a fight. "So it's you, right? You're the little boytoy?"

"No," Remus said softly, his voice almost coming out as a growl.

"Oh don't lie." Lucius leaned closer, his soft blond hair falling over one eye. "I know what you get up to in that little red tower of yours."

"It's not me. It's none of us."

"Really?" A strange perfume hung around the Slytherin's robes and was nearly choking the little werewolf. "I don't believe you."

"Believe-"

"Hello, Severus, Lucius." A hand clamped down on Remus' shoulder and he glanced up to see one of the Hooch twins. "If you don't mind, I'd like to borrow Lupin for a bit. You two run along now." Aberdee Hooch gave them a warning smile, his other hand caressing the length of his mahogany wand. Aberdee was the Keeper for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, while his sister was the captain and first Chaser of the Ravenclaw team. Both of them were tough as nails and fought like cats when they felt their territory was being invaded. They were like refuge towers to some of the younger and smaller students, who could not fight on their own.

Lucius' eyes flickered, his nose wrinkled slightly and he grabbed the other boy's arm. "Come, Severus." In a flurry of robes and irritating perfume, the two of them marched off. Remus sneezed twice.

"You okay?" Aberdee sat down on the younger boy's trunk. "Allergic to talcum powder?" He grinned.

"Is that what he was wearing?" Remus sneezed again and nodded. Most werewolves were allergic to talcum powder, so Remus' parents had kept him well away from it. This was the first time he had been near enough to discern what it smelled like. "Thanks, Dee."

"No problem." The other boy snorted. "That Lucius Malfoy thinks he's so great just because he's a third year now. Thinks he can pick on anyone younger than himself." He flexed his muscles a little. "Not with my Gryffindors."

"It's okay." Remus rubbed at his nose with the back of his sleeve. "I didn't want to get in a fight." He smiled up at Aberdee. "But he was annoying."

"Don't let him bother to you." The older boy ruffled Remus' hair, then stood up. "I gotta get going." Holding out his robes, he gave the shorter Gryffindor a brilliant smile. "Look, I'm a Prefect this year!" The badge flashed in the light.

"Wonderful!" Remus beamed up at him.

"See you around, Rem." Aberdee waved and then strode off towards the Prefects' car.

Just then, James came running up. He was wearing muggle street clothes, dragging his trunk behind him, and grinning like an idiot. "Hey, Remus!" he yelled, then promptly gathered the smaller boy in a large hug. "How was your vacation? Too bad you couldn't join the rest of us when we went to Idle Mountain." He made a face. "But it's good to see you again." He made a face. "My mum's been pestering me to get studying- so that's why I didn't write much after the beginning of August." He sighed dramatically. "She thinks I need to be top of my class. And honestly, I have to agree with her."

Remus smiled. The trip to Idle Mountain had been a plan thought up by Sirius during the first month of vacation. But the date he fixed unfortunately corresponded with the full moon, and Remus had begged off- saying he had things to do. "I had a wonderful vacation." It wasn't a lie. He had gone fishing with his father and read towers of books under the trees outside their house. His mother had made cakes and pies for a local fair and had allowed Remus to make his own tiny blackberry tart. It was a lazy, beautiful summer- with bees at the fruit trees and summer sun that warmed all the cold places of the heart. Even though he had not gone to Idle Mountain, Remus had greatly enjoyed his freedom.

"Well, that's good." James plunked himself down on his own trunk. He glanced around for a moment. "Train's a bit late."

Remus shrugged and laughed. "We're a bit early."

"Suppose so." James grinned at his friend. "Say, where's your dad?"

"He and mum had a date with an interior decorator." Remus made a face. "They want to re-do the living room, and neither of them really has the artistic experience to do anything beautiful. Mum says she's tired of the old wooden everything. Wants something fresh to cook in." Suddenly, he caught the odd look on James's face. "What?"

"Remus... you said your mum was dead," James said quietly, his eyes serious behind round glasses.

The little werewolf's heart nearly stopped beating. He could feel his fingers go cold, and his eyes widened a bit in fright. "I... she's... I meant my aunt. My dad and my aunt," he tried lamely.

"Remus-" began James, sternly, but just then, a ball of fluffy something came hurtling out of nowhere to hit the dark haired boy on the side of the head. "WHAT THE HELL?"

"Hiya, Jamie! Remmie!!!" Sirius threw himself onto Remus, hugging him delightedly. "It's been too long, fair maiden!" he cried dramatically.

James picked up the ball of fluff to discover it was a puffskein; the poor thing looked as though it had been, well, chucked at someone's best friend.

Remus laughed softly. "Hi, Sirius."

"Peter's popping along shortly," announced the dark haired boy, his arm still slung around Remus' shoulder. "He wanted to say goodbye to his parents before joining the throng."

"Four is not a throng," said James, a bit sourly. "Is this yours?" He held out the puffy magical creature.

"Yes, indeed-y my good man." Sirius took the bedraggled little puffskein into his arms. "Thank you!" He turned and winked at Remus. "I know plenty of fun games to play with this little guy." He waved the poor thing around. "He's a boatload of fun, you know."

James glared at the two of them, adjusting his glasses with his index finger. "You should be nicer to it, Siri. And you-" he pointed at the light haired boy "don't lie to me again, Remus. We are going to talk about this as soon as we get into the dorms. You are going to tell all of us the truth- I don't care if I have to use Veritaserum to get it to work. Mark me on that." The other boy cringed at the words, feeling his heart drop out of his chest.

Sirius looked confused. "Lie?"

~ + ~

Remus restrained himself from locking the door on his fellow Gryffindor second years by a margin of two inches. Instead, he began to busy himself with unpacking his trunk. Last year, the other boys left their things in their trunk- taking them out when they were needed, but Remus liked to feel at home and would set his things in the cupboard beside his bed. He had just taken out his schoolbooks, when James cleared his throat loudly. "Attention, Gryffindor second year boys, Remus has something he would like to say." He looked pointedly at his friend.

The little werewolf choked. "I...." He felt like a fish caught on the end of a line, and sat down slowly on his bed. "I... my... my mother isn't dead," he said, forcing the words out of his mouth. As the other boys stared at him, he felt as though he had fallen through a great void.

Sirius stared at him with wide blue eyes. Peter stopped moving, nearly forgetting to breathe. James just nodded solemnly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, burying his face in his hands- too embarrassed to do anything else.

"Why did you tell us that?" asked Sirius, finally breaking through the silence.

Remus just shook his head and then looked up, tears shining in his eyes. "I'm sorry!"

"Remmie..." Peter knelt down, putting his hand on the other boy's leg. "It's okay. I'm glad your mum's alive." He tilted his head a little, eyebrows flickering upwards. "Can you tell us why you lied?"

The light haired boy shook his head again. "I can't," he burst out in a very thick voice.

James glared at him from across the room. "Remus, we're your friends. You can tell us anything. And you owe this to us after lying."

Remus looked as if he was about to burst into tears, when Sirius butted in. "It's okay. He'll tell us when he wants to." He raised an eyebrow at James. "When are you getting to be so grouchy, Jamie?"

James growled softly. "Since you and Peter stole my clothes on the camping trip!" Fortunately for all the boys in the room, this loosened the tight atmosphere, and they all began to laugh. Then Sirius threw his puffskein at Remus, who caught it deftly, and threw it to James. They set up a short game of "bed Quidditch" as Peter called it, and soon all flopped back, exhausted on the bedspreads. No one had quite forgotten about what Sirius had inwardly dubbed "Remmie's Secret", but they were willing to let it go for the time being.

~ + ~

"ARG!!!" Remus actually threw his Potions book across the room. "I can't do this any more!" Sirius looked up, startled. The two of them had been studying in the dorm rooms- James and Peter had opted for the common room- and it had been utterly silent until that moment. The little light haired boy was a bit embarrassed, but still more frustrated than anything else. "Sorry. I just can't..."

Sirius smiled and patted the bed next to him. "Come here. I'll help you."

Remus blinked, then slid off the bed and retrieved the book before joining his companion on the far bed. "How come you aren't in the common room?" he asked, after a moment, not having opened his book yet.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No! No... I just thought you'd want to study with James." Remus looked down. "I'm not as much fun as everyone else."

Sirius shrugged. "You're fun to be around. I can't study well with James, really. He's ... well... James." The dark haired boy laughed. "James is great for pranks and playing with... but I can't study when he's around. I keep getting distracted."

Remus sniffed almost pompously. "At least you figured that out. Peter hasn't."

Another laugh. "Ah, Remmie... now what part of Potions are you having problems with?"

"All of it." Remus sighed and then laughed. "I just don't get what hags' feet has to do with curing boils."

"Well, they're from a magical person."

"Why not just cut off anyone's feet and use them?"

"I don't know. Maybe a particular magical signal or something."

"Like an aura?"

"You take that Astronomy professor too seriously." Sirius snorted. "Auras... you're taking Divination next year, I take it?"

Remus nodded. "I'm so much better with stars." He grinned a bit. "Stars and Defence. That's me to the T."

"Ha ha." Sirius grinned back. "Well, what is going to fix the crick in your neck after you've been stargazing too long? Potions. What is going to grow your skeleton back after some vampire has cursed it out? Potions." He patted the book. "And who knows, you might randomly mix something that will cure you of all your ailments." He wiggled his eyebrows at the smaller boy.

Remus' eyes suddenly shifted to green. "You don't know how badly I wish I could."

Sirius's face softened. "Are you feeling okay?" He lay a hand on his companion's shoulder.

"Yes." Remus said quietly, then stood up. "Can we study another time? Set a date or something?" He didn't want to talk about ailments or Potions.

"Remmie?"

"I can't concentrate right now. I'm hungry, I can't think." It wasn't exactly a lie. He was hungry.

Sirius grinned. "I've been wanting to find my way to the kitchens for a long time. Wanna come?"

In the end, the two boys took James with them and found their way to the kitchens only with the aid of a house elf named Panky. Sirius thought its name was incredibly funny, and kept calling it "Hanky Panky." When Panky had led them to the kitchens, they had found it hard to keep up and only barely caught that the passageway was concealed by a painting of fruit- and that you tickled the pear to have it swing open. They slipped through the narrow stone hall- Remus licking his lips at the thought of a rare steak- and Sirius pushing him gently from behind while James led the way.

Inside the kitchens, house elves were bustling about, making food and carrying dishes from one sink to another. All of them looked incredibly cheerful, and at least seven surrounded the invaders when they came in.

"Would sirs like an eclair?" A plate of them was shoved under Remus' nose.

"Tea?" Cups were put into their hands.

"Ah! Remus Lupin, sir!" squeaked a very small elf. "Would Remus Lupin like a steak, sir?"

"Yes!" Remus' eyes sparkled. "Rare."

"Oh Tibby knows, sir! Tibby knows! The moon is nearing full, sir!" sqeaked the elf.

"The moon?" Sirius mumbled around a mouthful of eclair. Remus felt his entire body go numb. Stupid house elves! Certainly Dumbledore had made them keep their mouths shut. Yes, assuredly-

"Yes, Sirius Black! Remus Lupin likes rare meat when the moon gets full." Tibby looked pleased with himself, willing to help, and utterly pitiful. But if Remus had been less under control, he would have grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed the poor thing right then and there. Fortunately for him, several of the larger house elves threw their bodies over Tibby's and began scolding him in hushed voices, smacking him with their overly large hands.

Remus, however, didn't wait to listen to any more. He ran out of the kitchens, up countless flights of stairs- using his wolvish strength to move along as fast as he could. Strangely enough, he wasn't upset. He was just panicked. They'd want to shut him up. They'd lock him away and he'd never be able to be a normal person again. He had to get away. So he ran first to the dorms, where Peter looked up from where he was changing to his pajamas.

"Remus?"

But the little werewolf didn't hear him. It was all too easy to add up his symptoms, and his friends were fairly smart. More than once, Sirius had commented on the changing color of his eyes. James was the first to point out his oddly shaped ears. Peter constantly complained that Remus was gone at least once a month. And now with that stupid elf... He shoved it to the back of his mind and looked wildly around the room. No locks. Then he careened up the stairs to the boys' bathroom and shut himself in one of the stalls, locking it both physically and magically. Sitting on the covered seat of the toilet, Remus tucked his knees up to his chin and tried not to breathe too loudly.

Fortunately for Remus, the other boys did not say anything to him when he finally returned to the dorm room. In fact, they completely avoided him for the next two weeks or so. It was on the day of the first snow that they finally approached him.


	5. Page Two: Winter (or, Remus Cries Like a Baby)

They surrounded him like moths to a flame, or, Remus thought, more like a pack of wolves around a rabbit. Except he was the wolf. James was to the back, his hand resting on Remus' shoulder quite firmly. Always the steady one, he looked rather emotionless, but from experience, the little werewolf knew that he was seething with calculated thoughts beneath his calm exterior. Peter had moved in on the right, sitting next to Remus on the couch, but not touching him. As always, his dark blue eyes betrayed everything he was thinking. And, to Remus' surprise, his roommate was not at all frightened or angry- only slightly sad and a little confused. Sirius had flung himself across the chair next to the couch, his legs swinging out and tangling with Remus' in friendly haphazardness. He was the picture of smug security, a smile dancing across his pink lips as he watched James initiate the conversation. After a moment of silence, James said quietly, 

"We missed you, Remus." 

Sirius nodded, tapping his friend's calf with his toes. 

"You've been a bit distant." 

Peter made a small noise in agreement. James moved around so that he knelt in front of Remus' legs, peering up at him with dark eyes. 

"Rem... we know." 

His voice was soft, so as not to alert any of the other Gryffindors in the room. 

"We figured it out this summer." 

Sirius coughed. "Excuse me, James?" He gave his best friend a mock glare. 

"Sirius figured it out this summer," amended the dark haired boy. 

"We wanted to test it- so that's why we scheduled the trip to Idle Mountain on a full moon. To see whether or not you'd come. And when you didn't..." 

He gave a little shrug. "Well, we knew. After that, it was only a matter of matching the symptoms up to what you were like, and we had it figured out. The incident with the house elf was almost redundant." 

Remus' eyes were filled with unshed tears. 

"What are you going to do to me?" 

Peter actually laughed. 

"Do to you? We want to help you! Remus..." 

He bit his soft pink lip. 

"Remus, you may scare the pants off me during full moons, but you've been our friend for a year. We're not going to abandon you." 

"Damn straight," offered Sirius, who had moved his legs to rest on top of Remus' knees. "We like you, Rem. You're a good student and a calming influence over all of us. Besides, who else would keep us Marauders out of trouble?" 

"Marauders?" Remus squeaked, his throat still quite constricted. 

"Yeah, that's us!" Peter said, smiling and scooting a bit closer. 

"D'you like the name? James picked it out for us. Said we maraud over the campus." His eyes were bright and he sounded a bit excited. 

"You're one, too," he added, his smile widening. 

"A Marauder?" James nodded and plopped his rear end down fully on the floor, his expression frank and open. 

"You're one of us, Rem. You'll always be." 

A sudden smile lit up his face. 

"Unless you try to eat us." 

At this, Remus wailed, "But I might! You don't know werewolves! I just might!" 

James's smile instantly faded. "I was kidding!" 

Sirius laughed. 

"If you haven't eaten us this past year, I don't think you'll start now." He wiggled an eyebrow. 

"I bet Dumbledore's got some great cage for you somewhere that he puts you in. We'll all be safe." 

He nodded reassuringly at Peter, who looked a little pale, and at Remus, who still looked quite distressed. 

"It's not a cage," the little werewolf responded in a stressed whisper. 

"It's a house." 

"A house?" Peter looked confused. 

"Yeah. The Shrieking Shack..." Remus bent his head a little. 

"You know the one- up by Hogsmeade?" 

The other boys nodded assent, and he continued. 

"It's not really haunted- that's me screaming down there at the full moon." 

At the look on Sirius' face, Remus continued hurriedly, "And there is lots of nice furniture there for me to lie down on when I'm done with my transformation. And it's really roomy compared to my c-" he stopped and turned a brilliant red. 

"Your what?" James asked, frowning. 

"I have a cage at home," the boy replied quietly. "To keep me safe." 

Sirius growled and pounced on his friend, hugging the light haired boy tightly. 

"To think that they cage you up..." 

"It's for safety," Remus protested in a muffled voice against Sirius' sweater clad chest. "I don't mind that much." 

Peter leaned back. 

"Are you going to stay here this Christmas, Remus?" He smiled brilliantly. "I really hope you do." 

James nodded. 

"Stay with us. We'll be tons more fun than your parents." 

Sirius patted the little bubble of light brown hair that seemed to bloom off his chest. 

"Yeah. Stay. Please?" His fingers ran through Remus' hair, making the smaller boy shiver a little. "We like you, Remmie." 

Remus smiled, his cheek still smooshed against Sirius' sweater. 

"I'll stay." 

And, so saying, he burst into a flood of delighted tears. His fingers tightened around the other boy's sleeves and he found himself smiling through the tears. 

"So," Peter asked, scooting closer to the pair of huggers "what's it like to be a werewolf? I mean..." he turned a bit red "um... what's it like to change like that every full moon?" 

The light haired werewolf peeked out from his harbor in Sirius' arms. 

"It's painful." Cautiously, he wiped his eyes with the back of his left hand. "It's really painful. Like losing your mind..." 

He gave half a bitter laugh. "It's exactly like losing your mind. You have no control over what you do. And when you wake up, you are broken like a doll. Cuts and bruises web across your skin, and you can only hope that you are the one who inflicted them. You hope that it's your own blood you taste- your own skin under your fingernails. And then, because you're exhausted from fighting the wolf and losing blood, you fall to the ground and fall asleep, leaving yourself utterly vulnerable. Not to mention that you live in fear during the other days of the month- afraid that someone will find out what you are and hate you." 

Remus stopped short, turned red and nibbled on a fingernail. Peter rocked back on his seat, his eyes wide and sympathetic. James, on the floor, leaned in and patted Remus' knee gently, while Sirius drew the boy back into his arms. Remus leaned into his dark haired friend, his cheek rubbing against the sweater. And then, suddenly, he realized he could hear Sirius' heartbeat. Sirius tightened his hold, and Remus shivered in strange delight.

It was snowing that Christmas Eve. Outside, the grounds had been covered with a fresh layer of white that glistened under the moonlight. To Remus' delight, the moon was only a quarter full. He would be able to spend this Christmas totally relaxed; he might even be able to go outside with the other boys if they wanted to. And if they could get out. He clutched his own elbows in excitement. The idea of flying out there under the moonlight... It was more than he could bear. Usually Remus didn't like flying, but this was different. He could imagine himself clinging to Sirius the same way he had just a week earlier. Clinging to him and flying over the trees... nearly touching the sky... 

"Remmie?" James put a tentative hand on the young werewolf's shoulder. "You okay? Can I get you anything?" 

Remus shook his head and smiled, amused. The three other boys had taken to caring for him as if they were his grandmothers. It was funny, but starting to get annoying. 

"I'm fine. I was just thinking about flying, that's all." 

"Flying?" James' glasses glinted and he pushed them up on his nose. "You hate flying." 

"I know... but I thought that tonight would be a beautiful night for it. Kind of a rush, you know?" 

He twisted a bit of his robes between his fingers. 

"It'd be pretty hard to get out there, but I would love so dearly to fly tonight." 

Suddenly, Remus felt himself grabbed from behind by a pair of strong arms. Then lips were pressed to his ear. 

"Let's do it," James murmured. "Let's go. You and me. Now." 

"But... Peter... Sirius...." 

Remus breathed, not sure whether James was trying to seduce him or just being quiet and protective. He was trembling, he knew, and he could feel his heart beating almost out of his chest. A thought flashed through his head that he would not want Sirius to walk in just then. But why, he had no idea. 

"Peter and Sirius are fine. Let's go." 

James grabbed Remus' arm and tugged it. 

"Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!" 

The two of them furtively slid out of the dorms and snuck on tiptoe through the common room. Peter and Sirius were engaged in a chess game, and neither seemed to notice as the other two Marauders slipped out the portrait hole. James went first, dragging Remus behind him. Remus was rather delighted with the whole prospect, though he still remained a bit frightened that they would get caught. Once they were in the hall, James began to laugh softly. 

"What?" 

"I never thought I'd be sneaking out to fly on Christmas Eve with you of all people." 

He grinned at his companion. When Remus looked questioningly at him, James laughed again. 

"You don't like flying, silly. And I don't like breaking rules." 

Remus gave his friend a mock glare. 

"I thought Sirius cured you of your rule-breaking phobia." 

"Well..." James shrugged. "When it's with Sirius, it's different. I mean, you almost have to break rules to be around him. With you-" he paused and glanced at the light haired boy before lacing his fingers between those of his companion. "With you I don't need to break rules." He smiled at Remus. "You're just you." 

The other boy's mouth opened and closed twice like a fish. Then he turned a bright pink and looked away. 

"Let's just go." James began to lead Remus away, but suddenly their path was blocked by a dark shape. Both boys froze and James tightened his hold on Remus' hand. 

"Two second year Gryffindors out at night? And on Christmas Eve?" The figure moved into the light. It was, fortunately for the two Marauders, Professor Albus Dumbledore. 

"You two should be in your dorms with your friends." 

"Please, Professor," James butted in nervously "we wanted to fly." 

"Fly?" 

"At night," Remus put in, his cheeks still pink. 

"But your friends will be missing you." Dumbledore shook his head. "No, as lovely as a flight at night is, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask both of you to go back to your dorms. Rules are rules. And you'll have fun anyway." 

He winked conspiratorially. "Besides- Professor Brynd is patrolling the halls tonight. And I know neither of you wants to run into him." 

Both boys shook their heads. 

"Well then, pop back in the portrait hole and visit your friends." He smiled at them brightly. "And have a Merry Christmas." 

They obediently did as he asked, and the minute they were back inside the common room, Sirius pounced. 

"Where have you two been? What did you do? Remus, you could have gotten caught! James, don't take him out there! He sneaks out enough without you adding to it. It's not a full moon, is it? What have you been doing?" He flung his arms around the two boys. 

"It's CHRISTMAS EVE, my dears. We should all be together. Right, Peter?" 

"Right," Peter replied, still sitting where they had last seen him, bending over the chess pieces. 

"You didn't seem to need us," James said airily, his gaze sliding with a hint of resentment over Sirius' frame. Remus stepped back, shocked. Suddenly, he realized what had been going on. Sirius had been ignoring James in favor of playing chess with Peter. James, of course, had been resentful, and had turned to Remus to placate his loneliness. All that touching, blushing, sweetness, that had all been out of jealousy. With a bit of a sob, the werewolf yanked himself away from his friends and darted up the stairs to the dorms. The last thing he heard before shutting the door behind him was Sirius asking, "What did you do to him, James?" 

Remus began to cry. Loud hiccupping sobs escaped from his throat and he flung himself onto his bed, clutching his pillow to him and crying into it so that he wouldn't be heard by the boys downstairs. But apparently someone had heard him, for the door opened and a pair of bare feet padded across the floor towards him. The side of his bed dipped as the person sat down next to him on the mattress. Then a hand ran over his back comfortingly. Remus sniffed. It was Sirius, he could tell. The other boy had a distinctive scent that clung about him. 

"Remmie, he didn't mean to hurt you." 

Remus sniffed again, his head still buried in the pillow. 

"Sometimes even James doesn't think." 

Another sniff and a choked sob. 

"I yelled at him. Called him a stupid git if that helps." 

Remus shook his head. Sirius stood and the other boy could hear his feet padding across the floor. The footsteps stopped and then began again, coming closer. 

"Here, I've got something for you. It was supposed to be for tomorrow, but I thought tonight might be better. Merry Christmas, Rem." 

Something was laid beside the light haired boy and then he could hear Sirius exiting the room. Slowly, he sat up and looked at the box next to him. It was rather messily wrapped in blue paper and was about the size of a tissue box. Remus picked it up. Sliding his fingers under the paper, he carefully undid the package. Suddenly, he laughed. It was indeed a tissue box. Turning it around, he found there was something amidst the tissues. There, nestled among the soft white sheets was a pewter cage with a little painted bird inside it. The bird chirruped once and hopped around. It was not a real bird- of course- but an enchanted figure of one. However, it seemed so lifelike that Remus could not help hoping that one day it would give birth to lots of babies and they could fly around his room, occasionally migrating from bed to bed... He smiled to himself and set the birdcage on the head of his bed. Then, settling down among his own sheets, he held the tissue box next to him and fell asleep.


	6. Page Three: Spring (Or Sleepy Time With Remmie)

If Remus Lupin had one huge fault, it was that he was gullible. But if he had one huge grace, it was that he forgave. By mid-March, he and James were back to being best of pals. And that was why they doubled teamed with Lily and her Ravenclaw friend Fionna in Potions on that rather fateful Tuesday.

"...and so I said that I was sorry and he said he forgave me," James explained coolly. "It was my fault, and his choice to forgive me. Don't be so unaccepting, Finn. Boys don't carry grudges like girls," he added saucily. And, with a rather girlish flounce, James sat down on his stool and began to sort out the ingredients for the sleeping potion they were going to be making that afternoon.

"Well, I still think it was a little too quick." Fionna said, flipping her brown hair over one shoulder. "You should have thought about it a little more, Remus."

"I don't think so," Remus replied with a bit of bite in his voice. Fionna had never been a good friend to him. "I've heard that girls in the Ravenclaw dorms rarely ever speak to each other because they hold so many grudges."

"Now, now, stop fighting, all of you," Lily said briskly, clapping her hands together. "Let's get to work."

Obediently, James and Fionna began to gather the bull's tongue and ladybug eyes while Remus chopped up the ginger root. Lily, the little overseer, checked her copious notes again to make sure they had the right amounts of everything. However, she made one critical mistake that changed the potion entirely. Instead of writing "one tablet of condensed wingleaf powder", she had written "one cup of condensed leafwing powder". That simple mistake caused the entire potion to go awry.

In fact, that changed the brew completely from a simple numbing potion to an extremely potent sleeping draught.

By the time it was finished, Fionna was glaring distastefully at the ugly brownish goop. "Ugh... I am NOT going to be the one who tries that," she said, sniffed and folded her arms importantly. "Besides, I don't need a numbing potion."

"I have Quidditch practice, so I can't try it," James said loftily. "I'd fall off my broom!"

Lily sighed impatiently. "You two are such snobs." Then her eyes brightened and she turned towards Remus. "I guess it's you or me, elf-boy." Ever since someone had mentioned his pointed ears in front of her, she had taken up the nickname "elf-boy" which seemed to amuse the werewolf. "You wanna try it, or should I?"

"I'll do it," Remus offered. "After all, I don't have anything going on this afternoon, and I'm sure you do, Lil. You always have stuff going on." He gave a half smile.

"Well, get drinking. I don't want to be held after class," Fionna snapped.

Lily sighed again. "Finn- don't be such a brat."

Meanwhile, James had dipped a ladle into the solution and had poured a small glass for Remus. "Here you go... and remember- drink it all at once, not with sips. Otherwise, you'll have a horrible headache when the numbness is over."

Remus nodded and lifted the glass to his lips, wincing at the strongly bitter smell that wafted up from it. Then, holding his nose shut with two fingers, he knocked the whole glass back in one gulp. And, since the potion was not made right, he promptly fell over into an unconscious heap.

Warm..... cold! What is that? Ow....

Sleep.... Let me...

So dark... but ... oh.... That's nice.

Nice.... Cozy...

Who...?

Light! Where? What?

Remus sat up sharply, a pain rocketing through his stomach. He moaned out loud, his vision blurry, and then closed his eyes again.

"Here, dear," a warm, motherly voice said at his elbow. "If you need to be sick, there's a basin right next to you."

"Nnnn..." Remus leaned over, feeling with his fingers for the bowl. As soon as it was close enough, he bent forward and became violently ill, slitting his eyes open so that he didn't miss and vomit all over himself. When he was finished, he heard a spell being said next to him and the sour taste in his mouth faded to a fresh, cool mint flavor. His stomach relaxed and he leaned back onto the pillows behind him. The basin was removed and he felt comfortably drowsy.

"Hey, Remmie."

"Sirius?" Remus opened his eyes and looked to his left. There, indeed, sat his best friend, a little pale in the face, but with the hints of his usual cocky grin playing around his lips. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking after you." Sirius moved closer and touched his fingertips to Remus' brow. "I turn my back and you get yourself drugged... silly little puppy," he said fondly, brushing his companion's hair back. "Next time, make sure Lily checks her notes."

"It was Lily's fault?" Remus felt warm all the way to his toes at the affectionate nickname. It was one that he hadn't heard before from Sirius, but he knew the moment he heard it that he wanted Sirius to call him that again. Puppy. It didn't sound dangerous or even out of the ordinary. Just... puppy.

"Yeah, she wrote down the wrong ingredients." The dark haired boy shrugged and withdrew his hand. "Good thing it wasn't lethal or she'd be shipped out on the next Azkaban Express."

Remus made a face. "Is there such a thing?"

"I don't know." Sirius laughed. "If there is, Madam Pomphrey will have me on it before you can say 'tiddlywinks.'"

"Why?" A slow smile crept up the werewolf's lips and into his eyes.

"Because she's pissed as hell that I am staying here by your side. She seems to think I'll keep you from getting some normal rest."

"Normal rest?"

"The potion you took was a sleeping draught. But the longer it remained in your system, the harder it would be to wake you up. As it was, it took our dear nurse at least two hours pumping spells and herbs into you-"

"Oh... that doesn't sound like fun."

"Obviously not, 'cause you practically puked up your organs when she woke you up."

"Yeah."

Sirius stood. "Well, I'd probably better let you get some rest."

"It's kind of silly that I have to rest after taking a sleeping potion."

"That's what I thought."

Remus snuggled down into his blankets, tucking them up to his chin. "Well, I'll see you later, then."

"Get better, puppy." Sirius ruffled his friend's hair and then left, his walk almost too casual. Smiling at the dark haired boy's back, Remus lay his head back on the pillows, letting the tension flow from his body like water off the beach. Silly Sirius... it was just like him to hang around like a protective mother... That's how he always got in trouble with Madam Pomphrey. The two of them seemed to think it was their job to be Remus' caretaker. And while Madam Pomphrey really had the more eligible claim, Sirius didn't seem to care.

The last thought that Remus had before drifting off was that if you were talking about behavior, Sirius was really the more puppy-like of the two of them.

~

Lily was actually crying when Remus returned to the Gryffindor common room. James was trying- in vain- to comfort her, while Sirius was making fun of the poor girl and Peter was pointedly ignoring her. The rest of the room's occupants seemed to be following Peter's example, and were busily doing work or chatting about Quidditch.

As soon as Remus entered the room, Lily gave a little cry and ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. "Oh, Remmie, I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean to take the wrong notes, I didn't! I'm sorry! It's all my fault- you could have been killed!"

Remus turned red. After all, it wasn't every day that pretty girls hung off him, sobbing. "Lil- I'm fine, honest. It was only a sleeping potion. You can't kill me with one of those." He grinned lopsidedly at James who was giving him a rather helpless look from the couch.

"Yeah, don't be such a sissy," Sirius said, offhandedly- which earned him twin glares from his dark haired best friend and the brown haired werewolf. "What?" he asked, innocently.

Remus ignored him and petted Lily awkwardly on the top of her head.

"I'm really sorry," came a muffled voice from Remus' robes.

"It's okay. Honest." All the boy wanted to do was to get away from the common room and curl up to read a nice book. This touching Lily thing was not quite what he had in mind for a quiet evening.

"Okay, break it up, break it up. There are some of us in the room who prefer to keep our dinners in our stomachs." Sirius was suddenly standing next to the pair and frowning. One hand was on Remus' shoulder and the other was tugging Lily away from the werewolf. "Enough sobby emotional crap." When Lily extracted herself from the other boy's body, Sirius crossed his arms. "And you, Remus J- are coming with me."

The hazel eyed boy blinked twice and then, like an obedient puppy, he followed Sirius up the stairs to the dormitories. When they reached the door, Remus was surprised to see Peter already there, and to find James coming up the stairs behind them. "What's up, guys?"

"Actually, we kind of made you a get-well card," James said, nibbling on his thumbnail.

"And it was a little too big to carry to the hospital wing," Peter added.

"So step in!" Sirius crowed, grinning like an idiot. He flung open the door and stepped back so that Remus could get the full experience of their get-well card.

Inside the room, a very large bed sheet was hung between the ends of Peter's and James' beds. Across it was scrawled in Sirius' sloppy writing, "GeT BETTER RemUS!" Underneath, Peter had attempted to draw a wolf howling at a moon, and James had charmed the stars in the sky to twinkle.

"I don't know how to thank you!" Remus said huskily.

"Actually, we were planning on telling you something," James said seriously. He sat down on his bed and gestured to the wolf on the bed sheet. "You see, by himself, that wolf is a little lonely. So... Peter and Sirius and I figured we'd try to help out." He gave a rather awkward cough. "We're going to become Animagi."

"What?" Remus said. Or rather, tried to say. He kind of choked on the word.

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"We're going to become Animagi." Peter looked pleased with himself. "As animals, we could be around you during the full moon, and you wouldn't be so lonely."

"But.... But..."

"Unregistered, of course," Sirius interjected.

"But- you could die! I'm fine, guys, really. I'm okay by myself." Remus managed a weak smile. "Really, I'm not so bad off. I mean- the Animagus spell takes forever... and ... we'd probably be out of school by the time you finished... and..."

"We are going to do it," Sirius said stubbornly. "Don't be such a stubborn bastard, Remus."

"But... I don't..."

Peter put his hand on Remus' arm and looked at him, concerned.

"I don't want you to get hurt," the werewolf finally whispered, bowing his head a little. "I can't stand the thought of you guys getting stuck in animal form, or worse yet, halfway between... or being caught by someone... or... something... just for me. Or what if I did try to kill you even though you were animals?"

"Don't be stupid, Remus," James said suddenly, as if he was coming out of deep thought. "We aren't doing this just for you."

"...."

"Heh..." Sirius grinned roguishly. "We could have sooooo much fun being Animagi. Just think about it. If I could turn into a squirrel at any time I wanted, I go anywhere! Even in the girls' locker room."

"Sirius!" the other boys cried, though they had all been thinking along the same lines.

"So it's settled," James stated. "With or without your approval, Remus- we are going to become Animagi." With a glance at the other two boys, he grinned. "And we start tomorrow."

"At least let me help you with the spellwork!" Remus cried, still concerned.

Peter grinned. "We wouldn't have it any other way."


	7. YEAR THREE: PEAR PRESSURE

Page One: Fall (Aka: Femmie Star)

Peter was literally rolling on the floor when Remus entered the train compartment. His face was scrunched into the quintessential map of laughter and his feet were kicking at the air. "OOOOOOOOOHHHH!" he squealed delightedly, and then jumped up to greet his friend. "Remmie, you'll never guess what I found out!" he snorted and then plopped down onto one of the seats and began to laugh loudly again.

"What?" Remus sat down, his nearly golden eyes widening in curiosity.

"Oh ho ho ho ho ho!" Peter held out a book that had been previously clutched in his fingers. "L-look at this!"

The werewolf turned his attention to the page while tucking up his legs on the seat next to him. "Where?"

"Halfway down the first page."

Remus' fingers skimmed along the words until he came to the ones that Peter seemed to be talking about. Almost without knowing, he began to read softly out loud. "Along with the current theory of magical replacement, a Muggle Egyptologist came up with another surprisingly good suggestion. The shafts, though too narrow for a human body, could be considered a crawlspace for the human soul. As one opening points to the stars of Orion's belt, the pharaoh's soul could easily slide up the shaft and be 'launched' into the stars to take his place among the gods. Orion was, at the time, compared to Osiris, the god of the dead which the pharaoh became after his own death. The mystery, though, was the other shaft." Remus looked up. "Peter, I don't see what's so funny."

"Oh keep reading. You'll see." Peter smirked delightedly. Just then, James and Sirius both barged into the room, singing raucously. A scowl from Remus (who wasn't feeling too happy due to the approaching full moon) and a shout from Peter shut both of them up, and they sat down, both grinning.

"The mystery, though, was the other shaft. It pointed towards Sirius, the Dog Star. Though in the day of the ancient Egyptians it was considered the star of Isis, Osiris' consort." Remus shot a look at Sirius, who made a face and then quickly turned his attention back to the book. A blush crept up his cheeks. "Ahem.... Let's see... Therefore the shaft could have been considered a launch pad for the queen's soul. Then, in the afterlife, she could join in the star of all women." Remus stopped again and then suddenly started laughing. "The star of all women?"

Sirius frowned. "What? I am not the star of all women!"

"You're a femmie star!" James crowed delightedly. "Femmie Sirius!" This earned him a heartfelt glare from his companion.

Peter was giggling uncontrollably, his freckles nearly disappearing under the flushed red of his face. "Ah! Ah! Femmie Star!" He pointed at Sirius with eyes streaming with mirthful tears. "Oh, Sirius... that's your new nickname!"

"ARG!" Sirius clutched his head in his hands. "I am not a femmie star! I'm the Dog Fucking Star!"

Wrong choice of words.

The other three boys burst into new cascades of laughter, Remus leading the lot. For some reason, everything that Sirius said took on a high hilarity in his opinion. During the months that they had been on vacation, he had cracked up at every single letter sent by his dear friend. He had also found himself folding the letters and keeping them stored between the pages of his favorite books. At first, he had been a little frightened- fearing that he was actually Fond of his best friend, but then he had managed to convince himself that it was just that he wanted to laugh at the letters again some time. Besides, he had kept letters in the past- particularly when one or both of his parents would visit foreign countries and send him postcards. Slowly, the laugh subsided and Remus was left with the warm afterglow of mirth. He turned his amber gaze towards Sirius and watched him, a bit of previously absent shyness wiggling in his stomach. The other boy had certainly changed over the summer.

Sirius' hair had grown out until it was now past his shoulders. He had tucked it back into a small tail at the back of his head that curled under delightfully. His eyes, though still the same blue, seemed to have gotten brighter. And his skin which was (before school let out) the normal pink, had bronzed under the sun. His hands and feet had gotten larger- a fact which made him look almost puppyish. Remus loved it.

"Say, Rem- what extra classes are you taking this year?" James leaned out over the open space of the compartment.

"Arithmancy and-" Remus' face scrunched up "I think Divination."

Sirius looked disappointed. "Not Care of Magical Creatures? Aw, Remmie... don't leave me with these buggers." He gestured towards James and Peter who both glared back at him.

"Who's a bugger, Femmie Star?" James growled.

"Thanks a lot for your friendship, Sirius Brat," Peter pouted.

The door to the compartment banged open and Lily bounded in. "Hey, guys! Guess what I did over the summer!!" She looked so pleased that it was almost sickening.

"What?" James asked, leaning back and crossing his legs.

"I went to China!!!"

"Big deal," snorted Sirius who was plainly envious.

"Shut up, dogface. Look!" Lily displayed her wrists which both had slim jade bracelets on them. "My mum got these for me when we went to the Great Wall... even Petty liked it!" She smiled. "My whole family was so happy, and then this old guy taught me a new spell! I have to show you, it's soooo cool!" Without waiting for a response, she pulled out her wand and chanted a quick incantation in what sounded like Chinese. Instantly, a small tree grew from the floor and burst into blossom overhead. Petals swirled down and then the apparition was gone. "Cool, huh?" Lily beamed.

"Wow!" Peter cried, his eyes shining. "Do it again!"

"Yeah, it was hard to see when it went that fast," Remus added. Lily obliged and then made a face. "Sorry it's so fast. I haven't been able to practice that much, but when I get good at it, I'll be able to hold the tree there for much longer." She grinned at James. "Whaddya think, Potter?" James shrugged and tried not to look jealous. "I think it's a useless spell."

"Oh and transforming a mouse into a teacup is?" Lily frowned. "Come on, James, it was cool and you know it."

"Fine, fine! It was cool. Now go away. No girls allowed!" Childishly, James stuck out his tongue.

"Then we should kick Sirius out, too," Peter giggled.

"Hey! Don't bring that up!" Sirius cried, his voice cracking in the middle. Everyone, including himself, began to laugh at that.

"Thanks for showing us that, Lil." Remus smiled brightly. "You have to teach me how to do it sometime, okay?"

Lily nodded, leaned over and smacked James on the head, and then flounced out, grinning like her face was going to crack.

"Geez, James, that was mean," Sirius commented, examining his fingernails. "Eh, she deserved it. Little witch has been calling me all summer." His voice rose to imitate a female's. " 'James, why don't you come see me sometime?' 'James, let's go to Diagon Alley together to get supplies!' 'James, why don't you ever call me?'" He scrubbed at his hair. "It's James James James, all the time! I can't take it!"

"She called you from China?" Peter raised an eyebrow.

"Hell yeah. She called me almost every fucking DAY."

"Oooo!" Sirius grinned. "Someone has a cruuush on Jaaaaames!"

"Eeeeehhh??" The usually calm boy's face went bright red. "She does not!! She's just annoying, that's all!" Before Sirius could reply, he stood up and stomped his foot. "I'm going to the restroom. Don't get into trouble without telling me." And with that, he marched out.

"I think someone is in denial." Sirius commented.

"Isn't that a river in Egypt?" Peter grinned. "Under your star... Isis?"

"ARRRGG!!"

The next two weeks seemed to go by smoothly enough (barring, of course, Remus' early September werewolf) and soon enough the leaves on the trees started to change. Fall happened to be one of Remus' favorite seasons and he found himself in a good mood most of the time. And he was certainly on the top of one of these moods when he walked in on Sirius dancing in the dorm room that Friday.

Some traditional Irish song had been fiddled with by one of Sirius' favorite bands and now it had quite a lot of bass and rhythm added in. The vocals were high and flute-y, reminding Remus of the actual topography of Ireland.

He had lived there about five years ago with his parents and missed it dearly. Near their house there had been a beautiful stream, overhung with willows and reeds and sporting little nooks that were perfect for curling up in and dreaming or reading... One man had actually taken up a particular spot for playing the flute every morning. At first, he had been merely good, but after a while, his music began to show the wild, dreamy nature of the land around. Remus had always scrambled out of bed early enough to shove on his little black boots and his overly large red sweater so that he could sit by the flutist and listen. Sometimes he remembered crying at the sheer beauty of the melody.

Sirius suddenly noticed Remus standing in the doorway. 

"Hey, Moonchild- wanna dance?" He held out his hand to his companion. "Come with me..." 

And he dragged Remus into a strange dance that had no set steps or movements, but simply wove in and out of the music like spirits in the fog. Remus was not comfortable in the beginning, his heart was beating too fast, trying to figure out the nonexistent rules of the dance. But after a while, he began to feel Sirius' movements even before they came, and he complemented them with his own. They moved around the room, touching at the fingers, eyes smiling and bodies sweating. It was beauty beyond anything that Remus had ever known- the kind of beauty that breaks your heart and then puts it back together again. He wanted to cry like he had for the man with the flute, but he was moving too fast and was too much involved in Sirius to even bother.

Suddenly, all too soon, the music stopped. Sirius, as well, ceased to dance, but, surprisingly, pulled the shorter boy to him and held him against his chest. Remus was startled, but soon forgot to be wary in his delight. His super sensitive nose pressed up against his friend's shirt and he inhaled the scent that was uniquely Sirius.

"Remus, it's a beautiful day."

The werewolf nodded, his sensitive ears picking up the sound of Sirius' heartbeat.

"Um, Remmie? There's something I want to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

Sirius disengaged himself from the embrace and walked over to Remus' bed, plopping himself down. He tucked his legs up underneath his body and smiled serenely at his companion. "Come, sit," he said, patting the bed.

Obligingly, Remus did as he was told and Sirius's smile widened. "I wanted to ask you... about my animagus form."

"Um... okay." Remus nibbled on his lip. "What about it?"

"I want to try for a cat. Like a large cat- ocelot or cheetah or something. Do you think that would be okay?"

"Well, Siri- it's your form. You have to live with it for ... er... however long." Remus gave him half a smile.

"I was also thinking that a large cat might be a little noticeable. Like- maybe I should go for a rather large house cat?"

"Sirius- I know this is kind of a weird question- but why not a dog? I mean, you being the Dog Star and all."

The dark haired boy snorted. "According to Peter, I'm still the Femmie Star."

"Oh, come on," Remus laughed. "It's just a joke. Besides, I'm more feminine than you are."

"That's true." Sirius grinned. "Femmie Remmie."

"Ha ha."

"So you think I should be a dog? I was actually thinking about it, but I thought that maybe that would threaten the wolf's territory. So that's why I thought cat." Sirius shrugged. "Then again, there is the Animagus spell that allows you to turn into the animal that is best suited for you. But you don't know beforehand what that is. That's the only problem."

"What's James going to do?"

"He's going to try the best suited one. Peter's already decided on a form that he likes."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Can't say. It's a surprise."

The two were silent for a moment, then Remus shifted a little. "I'd..." he began, then paused, blushing.

"Hm?"

"Nothing."

"No, tell me."

The blush spread across Remus' cheeks and to his ears, turning them a bright pink even to the tips. "I want you to try the one that is best suited to you."

Sirius turned away but Remus could see the matching blush on his friend's face. "Remmie, I-"

Just then, James stepped into the room. His face was alight with something akin to mad intensity. 

"Play Quidditch!" he yelled, and then raced out of the room. Sirius and Remus sat on the bed, blinking. In less than fifteen seconds, James' head was once again in the room. "Come on! Play!" Then he dodged out again.

Sirius glanced at Remus and then ran out of the room, yelling, "I call Seeker!!!"


End file.
